Alright I am back!
So yes I am back to blogging, but I am changing things up a little, broadening my horizons if you will. I will still post about specific passion parties but I also want to use this blog as something more, perhaps adding in my family, couponing etc. I want to have the freedom to post about whatever, or use this as a forum to express myself, because let's be honest, passive aggressive comments on other people's blogs or statuses are not really that classy, EVEN if they are well deserved.
So in other words....stay tuned!!
Monday 17 September 2012
Wednesday 4 May 2011
Got Mimi?
With father's day coming up I decided to do a blog about man's best friend...MIMI! If your man has not been introduced to Mimi yet I insist you add that to your list of things to do!
My bullet post was directed more for Mother's day, since it would be the...best...gift...EVER!
Mimi is a male masturbation sleeve and with her suction chambers she mimics a blowjob! She is also a time saver, cutting the time it usually takes to administer a handjob or blowjob by about half. Yay!! More time for facebook!!
Seriously though, I don't care if you love doing blowjobs, everyone's jaw cramps up eventually. It is called a blowJOB people, which means it's work, which means that at the end of the day many women don't find extra work "appetizing" (hahahahahaha....EWW!)
No matter how appreciated it might be by your partner, chances are you would rather spend that extra time sleeping! Now cue superhero music (seriously, I want you to hum it right now!)...MIMI TO THE RESCUE!!! She will cut down the time it usually takes your guy to achieve his happy ending while containing the mess that might erupt all over your thousand count Egyptian cotton sheets, or rather your newly cleaned sheets from walmart. If you are one of those clean freaks that would rather take said happy ending into your mouth rather then have to deal with the clean up after, she will even swallow for you too. It will be up to your blissed out partner to skip off to the bathroom to rinse her out, which he will do, very willingly, after you so nicely obliged him with a few moments of Mimi-ness.
Now the last thing I suggest is you buy a Mimi and hand it to him on a special day, be it his birthday, Christmas, or Father's day, and tell him you have passed the blowjob torch on to Mimi so you will never have to do it again. That probably won't go over to well. We know how much like babies men can act when they are sick, insert "take blowjob away forever" and they will probably bawl like I do when watching Bambi, which is ALOT.
I just have to pause here and point out how I put Bambi and blowjob in the same sentence...it's a gift really.
But if you instead introduce Mimi as a new, fun couple experience, then there will be nothing but joy all over his face..as opposed to something else all over yours?? (So dirty!!!)
My bullet post was directed more for Mother's day, since it would be the...best...gift...EVER!
Mimi is a male masturbation sleeve and with her suction chambers she mimics a blowjob! She is also a time saver, cutting the time it usually takes to administer a handjob or blowjob by about half. Yay!! More time for facebook!!
Seriously though, I don't care if you love doing blowjobs, everyone's jaw cramps up eventually. It is called a blowJOB people, which means it's work, which means that at the end of the day many women don't find extra work "appetizing" (hahahahahaha....EWW!)
No matter how appreciated it might be by your partner, chances are you would rather spend that extra time sleeping! Now cue superhero music (seriously, I want you to hum it right now!)...MIMI TO THE RESCUE!!! She will cut down the time it usually takes your guy to achieve his happy ending while containing the mess that might erupt all over your thousand count Egyptian cotton sheets, or rather your newly cleaned sheets from walmart. If you are one of those clean freaks that would rather take said happy ending into your mouth rather then have to deal with the clean up after, she will even swallow for you too. It will be up to your blissed out partner to skip off to the bathroom to rinse her out, which he will do, very willingly, after you so nicely obliged him with a few moments of Mimi-ness.
Now the last thing I suggest is you buy a Mimi and hand it to him on a special day, be it his birthday, Christmas, or Father's day, and tell him you have passed the blowjob torch on to Mimi so you will never have to do it again. That probably won't go over to well. We know how much like babies men can act when they are sick, insert "take blowjob away forever" and they will probably bawl like I do when watching Bambi, which is ALOT.
I just have to pause here and point out how I put Bambi and blowjob in the same sentence...it's a gift really.
But if you instead introduce Mimi as a new, fun couple experience, then there will be nothing but joy all over his face..as opposed to something else all over yours?? (So dirty!!!)
Monday 25 April 2011
Yay Bullets!
It continually amazes me how many women have never owned or even heard of a clitoral bullet before. Notice how I put clitoral in there? That's because many women will know exactly what I am talking about if I mention just a plain old bullet, insert "magic" in there and the majority will get it. Which I have to say is a very sad commentary on our times. What are these women doing making things like salsas and smoothies, or shooting things (??) when they could be upstairs in bed having clitoral orgasm after clitoral orgasm?? Makes me shake my head while making tsk tsk sounds.
It's not like you need massive amounts of time or energy to have yourself a mind bending, toe curling, headboard banging orgasm! Looks like all my smutty novel vocab finally has an outlet. Bullets are used to get you to your clitoral orgasm the fastest, so let's say you are walking out the door and you take a look at your watch. You say to yourself "I have 5 minutes, I could really go for a clitoral orgasm right now!" you will head straight for your bullet, no other buzzing friend will give you such a time saving boost!
Why would you ever do something so asinine as to run and have an orgasm before work, or before you start a stressful day you ask? Well number one the big O actually relieves tension! The faster heartbeat, the increased blood flow and the muscular tautness associated with sexual pleasure all come to a relaxing conclusion with an orgasm, and in the process relieve tensions pent up in your nervous system.
Suffering from insomnia...have to be up in only a few hours? Well you COULD pop a pill wait for it to take effect, have a dreamless sleep, and then have a hard time waking up the next morning. But I have an even better option, just roll over to your night table, take out your trusted little bullet, and within 5 minutes float away on a fuzzy pink cloud of sleep complete with many "enjoyable" moments with a certain piece of yummy man candy. Please don't say it's your husband or boyfriend, I don't like liars! It's all about IMAGINATION people!!
I am all about the time saving options on anything and everything. Which is why I am so pro-bullet. The less time I have to spend on daily orgasms (an orgasm a day and all that jazz) the more time I can spend on important things, like SELLING bullets to everyone else.
If more women indulged in an orgasm a day I truly believe everyone's life would improve, I don't think I really need to sell the men on an orgasm a day improving their lives. But it WOULD be like one giant Viagra commercial for EVERYONE! Good morning, good Mooorning! Don't you think the surly cashier at Timmies would have more pep in her step if she indulged in some vitamin O? What about that bitchy co-worker, perhaps a little less office gossip and a little more vibrating panties to make everyone else's work week a little better?
Do you want to join in this fantastic revolution?? Then run don't walk and buy a bullet! Or just order off my website http://www.delishdiva.com/, yes I am plugging my website, it's my blog!!
It's not like you need massive amounts of time or energy to have yourself a mind bending, toe curling, headboard banging orgasm! Looks like all my smutty novel vocab finally has an outlet. Bullets are used to get you to your clitoral orgasm the fastest, so let's say you are walking out the door and you take a look at your watch. You say to yourself "I have 5 minutes, I could really go for a clitoral orgasm right now!" you will head straight for your bullet, no other buzzing friend will give you such a time saving boost!
Why would you ever do something so asinine as to run and have an orgasm before work, or before you start a stressful day you ask? Well number one the big O actually relieves tension! The faster heartbeat, the increased blood flow and the muscular tautness associated with sexual pleasure all come to a relaxing conclusion with an orgasm, and in the process relieve tensions pent up in your nervous system.
Suffering from insomnia...have to be up in only a few hours? Well you COULD pop a pill wait for it to take effect, have a dreamless sleep, and then have a hard time waking up the next morning. But I have an even better option, just roll over to your night table, take out your trusted little bullet, and within 5 minutes float away on a fuzzy pink cloud of sleep complete with many "enjoyable" moments with a certain piece of yummy man candy. Please don't say it's your husband or boyfriend, I don't like liars! It's all about IMAGINATION people!!
I am all about the time saving options on anything and everything. Which is why I am so pro-bullet. The less time I have to spend on daily orgasms (an orgasm a day and all that jazz) the more time I can spend on important things, like SELLING bullets to everyone else.
If more women indulged in an orgasm a day I truly believe everyone's life would improve, I don't think I really need to sell the men on an orgasm a day improving their lives. But it WOULD be like one giant Viagra commercial for EVERYONE! Good morning, good Mooorning! Don't you think the surly cashier at Timmies would have more pep in her step if she indulged in some vitamin O? What about that bitchy co-worker, perhaps a little less office gossip and a little more vibrating panties to make everyone else's work week a little better?
Do you want to join in this fantastic revolution?? Then run don't walk and buy a bullet! Or just order off my website http://www.delishdiva.com/, yes I am plugging my website, it's my blog!!
Wednesday 20 April 2011
The co-ed Parties
Oh how I love them, and I am not being sarcastic, I lurve them!!
I am a firm believer in interactive parties, I like people to touch, smell, or even grope...no judgment, honest, the product! Just don't try to sneak off to the bathroom with a toy, because I have to admit that is a little strange. I love people asking questions, and offering suggestions. A party where people are talking and sharing their experiences is golden! There is nothing worse then stone cold silence at parties like this, especially when I am providing grade A entertainment...well at the very least grade B- entertainment.
Co-ed parties are a little different in that they provide ME with loads of not only entertainment, but information as well! I enjoy how embarrassed some men can get, they go red, sink into their chair, eyes darting to the door and then to my table full of goodies trying to decide whether it would be better to run away as fast as they can, or suck it up and learn something that might perhaps allow them more sex in the future. One guess on what the majority choose.
I also love the men who get all puffed up and announce loudly to the room how him and his wife don't need any of this stuff. Meanwhile said wife is joyously circling everything in both catalogues and asking me about payment plans.
Then there is the final type (yes I will go out on a limb and say there are only three types of men I meet at these parties) this type is by far my favorite, and that is the heckler. To be honest this type isn't just localized to a passion party setting, I will meet hecklers at tradeshows and barshows too. At these events they ask me to explain a certain product, mainly one meant just for men, and then wait for the embarrassment to set in. Of course it tends to backfire on them as I launch into a long explanation, complete with hand gestures, and lubrication suggestions. More often then not they will run away, like literally run or walk very fast away from me. Do they seriously think I would be in this industry if I couldn't handle it? I worked in an adult video store while I was in post secondary, if I can handle men renting 10 videos at a time and then returning them all 2 hours later, all the while keeping a straight face, then I can handle househusbands and their mimis and gigis!
The hecklers do make a co-ed party fun though, and they provide an integral part to the selling process. Because while for the most part their comments and questions are meant to embarrass me they also give me a platform (and I do love me a platform!) and a rapt audience (since they are all very interested in my reaction to said comment or question) to sell whatever product is in question!
My favorite part of the party is at the end though, when it comes time to order. All those men: the red and mute ones, the confident in their lack of need for such products ones, and the hecklers, they all come to the order room and promptly order one of each of the products I had shown that night, perhaps even two of a few things. No muss no fuss and everyone leaves happy! Especially me....because the more co-ed parties I have the closer I am to getting my Ipad!
I am a firm believer in interactive parties, I like people to touch, smell, or even grope...no judgment, honest, the product! Just don't try to sneak off to the bathroom with a toy, because I have to admit that is a little strange. I love people asking questions, and offering suggestions. A party where people are talking and sharing their experiences is golden! There is nothing worse then stone cold silence at parties like this, especially when I am providing grade A entertainment...well at the very least grade B- entertainment.
Co-ed parties are a little different in that they provide ME with loads of not only entertainment, but information as well! I enjoy how embarrassed some men can get, they go red, sink into their chair, eyes darting to the door and then to my table full of goodies trying to decide whether it would be better to run away as fast as they can, or suck it up and learn something that might perhaps allow them more sex in the future. One guess on what the majority choose.
I also love the men who get all puffed up and announce loudly to the room how him and his wife don't need any of this stuff. Meanwhile said wife is joyously circling everything in both catalogues and asking me about payment plans.
Then there is the final type (yes I will go out on a limb and say there are only three types of men I meet at these parties) this type is by far my favorite, and that is the heckler. To be honest this type isn't just localized to a passion party setting, I will meet hecklers at tradeshows and barshows too. At these events they ask me to explain a certain product, mainly one meant just for men, and then wait for the embarrassment to set in. Of course it tends to backfire on them as I launch into a long explanation, complete with hand gestures, and lubrication suggestions. More often then not they will run away, like literally run or walk very fast away from me. Do they seriously think I would be in this industry if I couldn't handle it? I worked in an adult video store while I was in post secondary, if I can handle men renting 10 videos at a time and then returning them all 2 hours later, all the while keeping a straight face, then I can handle househusbands and their mimis and gigis!
The hecklers do make a co-ed party fun though, and they provide an integral part to the selling process. Because while for the most part their comments and questions are meant to embarrass me they also give me a platform (and I do love me a platform!) and a rapt audience (since they are all very interested in my reaction to said comment or question) to sell whatever product is in question!
My favorite part of the party is at the end though, when it comes time to order. All those men: the red and mute ones, the confident in their lack of need for such products ones, and the hecklers, they all come to the order room and promptly order one of each of the products I had shown that night, perhaps even two of a few things. No muss no fuss and everyone leaves happy! Especially me....because the more co-ed parties I have the closer I am to getting my Ipad!
Wednesday 13 April 2011
Ben wa balls, can you lose them?
I hear this question at least once a party, usually followed by..."because that would be a rather embarrassing trip to the emergency room!" For those of you that don't know, ben wa balls are metal marble like balls that get inserted to aid in your pelvic floor exercises. They can even be used during sex to stimulate your g-spot...oh la la! Seriously though, it's not like they can go rolling around inside your body all helter skelter, you won't sneeze and then end up with one flying our your nose or mouth (yep I was asked that once too!)
If you have done jumping jacks, sneezed, laughed too hard, or jumped on a trampoline and felt that perhaps you leaked a bit, and by bit I mean ______, feel free to fill in the blank there, then chances are your pelvic floor might need a little (alot of) toning.
There are a few things I now recommend though after hearing one women's personal story about having her ben wa balls fall out in a crowded Walmart. Number one, please please PLEASE wear underwear, now while I would personally recommend you wear it all the time, at the very least slip on a pair if you are using either ben wa balls or something like it. Secondly don't be waltzing around doing errands if you don't have a good grasp on them, good PC muscles can take years to develop, not minutes or days. So start using them at home and go from there! And last but certainly not least, if your child yells "Marble!" and goes running toward a questionable round object on the floor in a public place, run like hell to intercept them!
Here's a little trivia for you all! The original pelvic toning device was the perineometer invented by Arnold Kegel, however his device was a combination of rubber balloons and tubes that measured pressure using a column of water, needless to say it was difficult to use and anything but portable. Just imagine the embarrassment if that fell out from between your legs in the middle of Walmart!
If you have done jumping jacks, sneezed, laughed too hard, or jumped on a trampoline and felt that perhaps you leaked a bit, and by bit I mean ______, feel free to fill in the blank there, then chances are your pelvic floor might need a little (alot of) toning.
There are a few things I now recommend though after hearing one women's personal story about having her ben wa balls fall out in a crowded Walmart. Number one, please please PLEASE wear underwear, now while I would personally recommend you wear it all the time, at the very least slip on a pair if you are using either ben wa balls or something like it. Secondly don't be waltzing around doing errands if you don't have a good grasp on them, good PC muscles can take years to develop, not minutes or days. So start using them at home and go from there! And last but certainly not least, if your child yells "Marble!" and goes running toward a questionable round object on the floor in a public place, run like hell to intercept them!
Here's a little trivia for you all! The original pelvic toning device was the perineometer invented by Arnold Kegel, however his device was a combination of rubber balloons and tubes that measured pressure using a column of water, needless to say it was difficult to use and anything but portable. Just imagine the embarrassment if that fell out from between your legs in the middle of Walmart!
Tuesday 12 April 2011
To blog or not to blog?
I have been debating on starting my own blog for quite sometime, and while I would like to say it is because I think that I can provide a certain insight that might help people...really it's just because all the cool kids have them!
My main focus in having a blog is to share the funnier things about being a passion party consultant. At least that is my focus right now, who knows what it might evolve into in the future. Goodness knows I have enough writing genes in me to produce a masterpiece if I so desired. Instead I choose to whittle away the hours in a day hanging with my kidlets and getting all my information from daytime TV. Or so seems to be the common thought by some individuals.
I have read my share of blogs, and I love how liberating they can be. For some people they are an escape, while for others they provide information designed to help the reader understand something, anything really, that the writer wants to convey. Most of them are very personal, and usually include introspection and self growth. I am well aware that in comparison mine may seem trite, shallow and...well... perhaps a tad stunted. That is my intention though. There is nothing I enjoy more after reading an amazing thought provoking piece of literature, tear stains still on my cheeks, headache still present from the massive amount of ugly crying I have just done, then to curl up with a shopaholic book, or some teenage vampire series (don't judge me!!) and just exhale. Let my blog be that teenage vampire series for you!
My main focus in having a blog is to share the funnier things about being a passion party consultant. At least that is my focus right now, who knows what it might evolve into in the future. Goodness knows I have enough writing genes in me to produce a masterpiece if I so desired. Instead I choose to whittle away the hours in a day hanging with my kidlets and getting all my information from daytime TV. Or so seems to be the common thought by some individuals.
I have read my share of blogs, and I love how liberating they can be. For some people they are an escape, while for others they provide information designed to help the reader understand something, anything really, that the writer wants to convey. Most of them are very personal, and usually include introspection and self growth. I am well aware that in comparison mine may seem trite, shallow and...well... perhaps a tad stunted. That is my intention though. There is nothing I enjoy more after reading an amazing thought provoking piece of literature, tear stains still on my cheeks, headache still present from the massive amount of ugly crying I have just done, then to curl up with a shopaholic book, or some teenage vampire series (don't judge me!!) and just exhale. Let my blog be that teenage vampire series for you!
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